October 21st, 1914
Yesterday and the day before we had to stand in our trenches as Mother Nature relentlessly rained down on us. The trenches, of course, quickly filled up to our chests with water and mud. We had to stand there for almost 2 days before they finally drained out. It was unbelievably cold and exhausting just standing there like that. At times, I felt like just giving up and letting the icy waters take me, but somehow I willed myself to keep going.
We have already lost quite a few men due to disease and bad conditions this month and the number keeps rising with each passing day. Some of them were comrades of mine, and I can't help but think that tomorrow that might be me. Sometimes I feel like I'll go crazy if I don't get out of these trenches. I love my country, Britain, but fighting the Germans here in France seems hardly worth it.
October 30th, 1914
My ears are still ringing with the sounds of shells blasting and bombs exploding. The sounds follow me around, I can never get away from them. The bright bursts of light and sudden bangs are terrifying and let you have no peace. There's never a break in the noise.
I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I need silence. I need to live somewhere clean, away from the rats and the stench. I need a warm bed to fall asleep in. Is that too much to ask for?
November 12th, 1914
We are piling up thousands of casualties by the week. I try not to get to close to the boys around me because the next day they'll be dead. I'm positive that I'll be dead by the end of the year. I've seen such horrible things that all I want to do is forget. When will it ever be over? I only want to see my friends and family back home one more time. That's all I want.
It is freezing here all the time, especially at night. I wish I has a nice warm blanket and somewhere dry to sleep. The others in the trench and I huddle together to stay warm. It's going to be a long, long winter if I do make it through.
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